The most expensive advice you’ll ever receive is free advice from the wrong person.
We’re drowning in free advice. Social media, family dinners, coffee shop conversations—everyone’s an expert on what you should do with your life. But here’s what nobody tells you:
Most people giving advice are unconsciously trying to keep you at their level.
The Problem with Free Advice:
Most of it comes from people who’ve never done what you’re trying to do.
- People in jobs they hate telling you not to leave yours.
- People who’ve never started a business warning you about failure.
- People who’ve never been where you want to go, drawing maps as if they know the way.
It’s not malicious—they think they’re helping. But the result? You’re off course.
The Five Types of Advice Givers (And Why You Should Ignore Four of Them)
The Safety Police
Who they are: Risk-averse people who see danger in every opportunity
Their advice: “That sounds risky,” “You should be more careful,” “What if it doesn’t work?”
Why they give it: Your success would prove their caution was unnecessary
Reality check: They’ve never taken the risks required for significant success
The Dream Crushers
Who they are: People who abandoned their own dreams and want company
Their advice: “Be realistic,” “That’s not practical,” “You need to think smaller”
Why they give it: Your pursuit of big dreams reminds them of their own abandoned aspirations
Reality check: They’re experts at giving up, not achieving
The Status Quo Defenders
Who they are: People comfortable with their current situation who fear change
Their advice: “Why rock the boat?” “You have it good here,” “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you”
Why they give it: Your growth threatens the stability of their world
Reality check: They’ve optimized for comfort, not growth
The Theoretical Experts
Who they are: People with knowledge but no real-world experience
Their advice: Sounds smart but lacks practical wisdom
Why they give it: They want to feel important and knowledgeable
Reality check: They know how things should work in theory, not how they actually work in practice
The Results-Based Advisors (The Only Ones You Should Listen To)
Who they are: People who have achieved what you want to achieve
Their advice: Based on actual experience, failures, and successes
Why they give it: They want to help you avoid their mistakes and accelerate your success
Reality check: They’ve walked the path you’re trying to walk
Rule #1: Only take advice from people who have the results you want.
The Cost of Wrong Influencers
Every time you let the wrong person steer your ship, you pay these prices:
Opportunity Cost: The deals you don’t take, the risks you don’t accept, the growth you don’t pursue
Time Cost: The years you spend playing small instead of scaling up
Confidence Cost: The self-doubt that compounds when you consistently ignore your instincts
Regret Cost: The “what if” scenarios that haunt you later in life
The most successful people I know share one common trait: they’re extremely selective about whose opinions they value.
When Steering Went Right
Take Howard Schultz. When he wanted to bring Italian-style coffee to the U.S., most people thought it was crazy. “Who’s going to pay $3 for coffee?” they said. If he’d listened, Starbucks would’ve stayed a dream.
Instead, he kept his hands firmly on the wheel. He sought advice from people who had built something big, not from those who only imagined what could go wrong.
How to Find Your Real Advisory Board
Identify Your Success Models
Make a list of people who have achieved what you want to achieve. They don’t have to be famous—they just need results.
Study Their Content
Follow their content, read their books, watch their interviews. Often, they’re already sharing their best advice publicly.
Invest in Access
The best advisors rarely give away their most valuable insights for free. Be prepared to pay for coaching, consulting, or courses.
Add Value First
Before asking for advice, find ways to contribute value to their world. Share their content, make introductions, offer your skills.
Create Mutual Benefit
The most powerful advisory relationships are mutually beneficial. What can you offer that they need?
The Captain’s Choice
You are the captain of your ship. That means:
- You choose the destination
- You select the navigation tools
- You decide whose voice gets to influence your course
- You take responsibility for where you end up
But if you let everyone else hold the steering wheel, don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere you never wanted to go.
The question isn’t whether you’ll receive advice—you will, constantly. The question is whether you’ll develop the wisdom to know whose advice is worth taking and whose needs to be politely ignored.
Your dreams are too important to let them be steered by people who’ve never successfully navigated to where you want to go.
Identify one person whose advice has been holding you back and one person whose guidance could accelerate your progress. This week, spend less time with the first and invest in learning from the second.
Who’s the best advisor you’ve ever had, and how did they change your trajectory? Sometimes recognizing great advice helps us spot it more quickly in the future. Share your story below.
Best Regards
Arjun Vijeth
Peak Performance Coach
P.S.
Transformation doesn’t happen alone, it’s forged in the company of those who push harder, think deeper, and rise higher. I’m building a private community called the Peak Performance Network.
This is a private circle of leaders, entrepreneurs, and professionals who refuse mediocrity and are committed to growth. We share systems, strategies, and accountability to help each other perform at the highest level.